Final Words
by DeidaraDear
Summary: What would you say if you had a second chance at goodbye? Well, Hazel goes on her monthly trip to the cemetery and gets the one thing she desperately wants; goodbye.


**A/N: So I have read this book at least ten times and still sob like a baby every single time. It is such an amazing read no matter how many times. So I felt that Hazel didn't really get the proper goodbye moment with Augustus that was really necessary, so I wrote my own. Granted, it's only in a dream, but still. Please tell me what you think; I live for criticism. :3**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, "The Fault in Our Stars" belongs to the brilliant John Green.**

I stood in front of the simple grey headstone, tracing my index finger across the writing engraved in the cold stone that is now a little weathered with age; Augustus Waters. A familiar, still-agonizing pain courses through my entire body, though it is nothing compared to the first visit. I still can't believe you're gone, I think to myself as I get on my knees. The long deep green grass blows with a light wind. My hair is whipped across my face and I'm still getting a little used to wearing it long. Maybe I should get it cut short again; he liked it short.

I begin to wonder about what it would be like if he had never died. A thousand different scenarios have run through my head, but none of them will ever happen, of course. I don't know why I torture myself this way, but I feel like this is the only way I can really get some closure. To really remember him properly. I've been coming here once a month since he…I still can't bring myself to think of him and that word in the same sentence. I lie on my back and stare up at the sky. It is twilight and the sky is a swirl of oranges, reds, and golds. He always said to enjoy the beautiful things, so I sigh and try and focus on the colors.

_We're on a beach. It's twilight here, too, the sky the same brilliant scheme as the cemetery. I'm in a billowy white sundress that flutters with the ocean breeze. My hair is short again, I note as I dig my feet in the warm sand._

"_Hazel…"_

_I stop dead, my blood running cold at the all-too familiar voice. Deep and husky and ever-curious, as if everything he says is a question and he's looking for an answer. I turn around and there he is, wearing a white button down, blue jeans, and black loafers. He flashes me a crooked smile. _

"_N-no…," I whisper hoarsely, knees instantly going weak. I think I might collapse._

_Augustus eyes me with a furrowed brow. I turn away from him and feel tears pricking the edges of my eyes. "Hazel," he repeats, softer this time, his voice like silk. "It's me."_

"_No!" I scream so loud my throat feels scratchy. "You're dead. I lost you. I," I gulp, holding down tears. "I can't lose you again. Please…it's unbearable."_

_He closes the distance between us and wraps his strong, protective arms around me. The feeling is so familiar a sob rises in my throat. "But I've been with you the whole time," he replies, pulling my hair to one side and planting soft kisses along my neck. "I would never leave-."_

"_But you did," I snap._

_He gives me a solemn look. "I know. But I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you."_

"_You put me through hell, Augustus Waters," I spat with more vehemence I would have imagined I could muster. "And I will not-"_

_I was cut off by his warm, soft lips swallowing my own. The small ember of happiness I had of seeing him ignited and I melted into him. He wrapped his arms around me and I wound my fingers through his soft hair as our lips molded together. It seemed like forever until we broke apart and I wrapped my arms around his neck._

"_Goodbye," he whispered."_

_Then he was gone._

_I was alone on the beach, the only sound of the crashing waves of the beach and the blood pounding in my ears. My heart sank and I collapsed to the ground, shaking with sobs._

I flung myself upright, breath hitching as I gasped for air. I had a few blades of grass in my hands and I let them blow off in the wind. But the rage was gone, replaced with an overwhelming sense of calm. I hadn't gotten to give Augustus a proper goodbye, and I've only had horrible nightmares since he…passed away. But thi_s…this _was what I needed.

Headlights became brighter and stopped at the edge of the wrought iron gate that surrounded the cemetery. I had walked here, despite my mother's heated opposition. I wrapped my hand around the handle of my oxygen tank and began to make my way towards the car. Mom opened the passenger door and I slipped inside. Nothing was said as we began to make our way home.

_Goodbye, Augustus Waters._


End file.
